


Separation Anxiety

by flamboyantsandwich



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Long Distance Relationship, M/M, ish, lots and lots of angst, skype calls are always fun
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-23
Updated: 2014-06-23
Packaged: 2018-02-05 21:48:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1833421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flamboyantsandwich/pseuds/flamboyantsandwich
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For twelve years, Eren and Armin have known nobody but one another. Now, as they enter young adulthood at twenty two, they're separated for the first time by a wedge of two thousand miles. Eren, on a scholarship, and Armin, on an internship, struggle with their lack of communication, but when new developments come to light that could separate them further, Eren all but loses his mind. Sometimes life demands sacrifice, but the things you sacrifice may not be worth it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Separation Anxiety

**Author's Note:**

> Based in a modern setting. The beginning italicized is Eren's reoccurring dream, a flashback type sequence from when he and Armin were kids. 
> 
> Armin lives in Phoenix, Arizona. He's currently employed on an internship at [fake] stem cell research facility that examines the usefulness of stem cells taken from adults, as well as tries to duplicate those found in fetuses. 
> 
> Eren lives in Newport, Vermont. He's currently attending college on a full-paid scholarship for football. Jock Eren, fuck ye. 
> 
> There is a three hour time difference between the two. Eren is three hours ahead of Armin. Due to their conflicting schedules, they can really only chat face to face if Eren wakes up at a godforsaken hour to talk to Armin once he comes home from work at nine. Both are twenty two and snarky as hell.

_“Eren! Eren, hey, Eren!” Armin’s voice, adenoidal and noticeably breathy from exertion, accented the sound of his footsteps creating a hollow sound in the calm summer sea-air as he ran like a wounded gazelle; possessing a natural grace, yet finding that grace diluted to a laughable awkwardness with each connection of his soles to the ground._

_Eren’s turquoise eyes drifted in a languid line from the meaningless shapes in the cloud puffs polluting the azure sky of midmorning, down to Armin’s face flushed by sangria blood, a smile pulling at the corners of his mouth at the sight. The choppy bowl cut his best friend sported was waving wildly around his petit face, but the blond colour shone like a sweet honey as pleasant sunlight cascaded down and bathed those below it in golden warmth. Eren’s hints of a smile exploded onto his face in a full-fledged grin as Armin stumbled over his own two left feet, nearly sending himself skidding across the cobblestone like a ragdoll. The red in his face deepened, but this had nothing to do with the ‘slap, slap’ of feet meeting the pavement._

_Lounging casually with his hands resting behind him for support, Eren had acquainted his backside with the dusty cobblestone ground of the docks overlooking the salty sea that lapped lazily at the wooden pillars supporting the structure. Boats seldom docked in this small port to unload shipments of this, that, and the other thing to the small, tourist-happy beach town, but it was exciting to watch when they did. That was one of the reasons Eren took a liking to this place. Not to mention it was secluded and not as easily accessible as a dock should be, which made it even more enjoyable as a security measure that nobody would disturb his and Armin’s special spot. The two boys were free to be who they please with one another here._

_Moist sea air lapped at Eren’s tanned face and carded through his wild chestnut locks styled in a perpetual bedhead no matter what methods he attempted to tame it with, and the scent of salt and seaweed were invigorating to the lungs of a boy who’d grown up around the deliciously crisp scent his entire short life._

_Within a few clumsier, unsure, and half-sprinting steps, Armin finally reached his target, falling to the ground with an unceremonious ‘fwoomp’ as his bottom met the dusty pavement besides the chestnut haired boy with a stupidly happy grin plastered on his face. Eren gave Armin a playful nudge against the shoulder with his own, a greeting meant for them, and them only. Wet teeth shone in the bright sunlight as thin lips pulled back to expose happy smiles, and Armin caught his breath quickly as he was eager to speak._

_“Eren,” Armin began, clapping his hands together once, but keeping them folded in front of his heaving chest, where his little heart thrummed wildly beneath the skin, as if he were in Sunday school; a habit he had done for as long as Eren could remember whenever Armin had important news he was eager to share. This little gesture had Eren’s smile locked in place on his lips, and he mimicked the gesture teasingly, but not rudely. Armin purposely ignored this, and continued eagerly as always. “You’ll never guess what my grandfather told me this morning.”_

_“Probably something along the lines that you need a new haircut, right?” The chestnut haired boy interjected with a silvery tone, earning himself an unamused pout from his best friend turned more than friends. In all actuality, Eren loved Armin’s haircut. There were probably only two people on earth who could pull off a bowl cut- successfully, mind you- and Armin happened to be genetically seasoned with sinfully beautiful facial features that were just shy of femininity in his blossoming youth. Any other style may have been damaging to the natural beauty, and Eren liked him just as is._

_“I said you’d never guess, and clearly, I was right,” Armin laughed now, knowing that Eren was a bit of an ass by design, even at the young age of thirteen. “That’s not even close, and you know my grandpa would never tell me I need a haircut when he’s the one who cuts my hair in the first place!”_

_“Okay, okay, you have me there. But if you don’t need a new ‘do, then tell me what the reason_ is _, Armin. Inquiring minds want to know!”_

_Armin took in a deep swallow of air, puffing out his chest as if he were about to deliver a congressional address. He exhaled and slumped his shoulders, drawing his knees into his chest and hugging his rail-thin legs. This was a way for Armin to comfort himself if he felt he was going to experience stress; another little habit Eren had seen Armin do at least a hundred times since as long as he could remember the two being little more than acquaintances. “Well, I have a cousin a few towns over that I’ve never met before who is like us. He’s in his late twenties now, and he is, well, he went through the same things we are now at this age. My grandpa told me that he was disowned, but he made it through, just like I have so far. And now he even has kids!”_

_“And?” Eren asked, adjusting his slouchy position and leaning towards Armin as he spoke, intrigued by the news and eager to give full attention to such an astonishing development for both their sakes. A pair of wide, oceanic eyes connected with a pair equally as wide, but more almond around the edges, and a comprised of a strange turquoise iris; not quite blue, but not quite green either. Armin’s train of thought derailed at the distraction of Eren’s eyes, and he found himself with rose dusted across his pale cheeks only just recently drained of the stain from running. Eye contact typically made Armin nervous, but the butterflies taking up residence in his stomach were not the type to make him want to cringe away._

_“A-and…” Armin spluttered after a moment when rational thinking returned to him with a few blinks and a clearing of his throat as a gentle sea breeze ruffled his hair playfully, like a friendly reminder this was important and it’s best he finish what he was saying. “And he’s married now, too. Legally with the vows and the rings and everything! Do you know what this means, Eren?” Eren was swimming in the clarity of Armin’s overeager, oceanic eyes more beautiful to him than the water just a few feet away. He could be lost in those wide, knowing eyes for hours and feel like only a few minutes had passed._

_“What? He asked after a moment, the pieces of the puzzle starting to line up in the back of his mind as a small, knowing smile ghosted across Eren’s lips. Armin’s face erupted with a look of pride and hope, the smile the blond’s lips reaching up to his eyes. Eren adored Armin’s smile, and he knew exactly what happened to each of his perfect little features when he smiled. The corners of his eyes would crinkle just a bit, the blue would sparkle easily comparably to sunlight dancing on serene oceans, and his button nose would lift just a little, but noticeably enough to melt Eren’s fragile, hummingbird heart._

_“One day, Eren, when you and I are all grown up. When we both have steady jobs, and a mortgage to pay, and I’ll have a car and you’ll have a motorcycle, just like we planned three years ago. When we have money in the bank and a dog to call our own,” Armin said, releasing the hold on his legs with one thin arm. He held out a pale hand, which Eren accepted without a single thought. He claimed the hand smaller than his own by looping his fingers though the gaps of Armin’s thin, precious fingers; a space he couldn’t be convinced existed for any other reason than to harbor his fingers tanner and more calloused than the delicate digits. “One day in the future, we can be married. We can have kids. We can be a family. Just like I’ve always said I’ve wanted.”_

_The smile touching Armin’s eyes was an injection of liquid adoration for the blond right into Eren’s bloodstream. Tan fingers squeezed with delicate affection at the pale hand he was holding as if it were an expensive glass treasure, and Eren leaned in towards Armin so their foreheads could touch. “Me and you against the world, Armin.” Eren spoke with a small voice only just loud enough for their ears to pick up on, even if the only thing to hear the words would be the sea a few feet away. “One day, I’ll ask you right. Get down on one knee, and blow you away with a speech I wrote just for you. And we’ll have a car, and a bike, a dog, a mortgage, kids, and anything else we’ll need to live in comfort and be truly happy. And every single night, when we lie down to sleep together, know what I’m gonna say to you?”_

_Armin giggled, and Eren gave his hand another affectionate squeeze as the blond filled in the words. “I love y—“_

 

Beep. Beep. Beep.

The shrill tones of an alarm clock not even a foot away from Eren’s head filled the small room up in an earsplitting wake up call, the red number glaring boastfully it was midnight on the dot. The room was consumed in a murky, ink-stained darkness, even with the curtains pulled wide open, moonlight filtering in a soft light around the white sill. Eren’s hand felt along the side table blindly with eyes still lidded until his fingers came in contact with the off button, which he smacked with an unapologetic force. That poor alarm was only fulfilling its intended purpose set by Eren himself, yet it’d taken more beatings than deserved. Eren justified the abuse by reminding himself the stupid thing had a knack for going off at the best part of any dream he was desperate to finish, and he was sick of the same dream over and over again never seeing completion because of the goddamn alarm being the biggest cockblock of the century.

Calloused palms met Eren’s closed eyes, rubbing the sleepiness from the corners as he groaned with quiet exasperation. His body was exhausted so deeply he felt the weariness settling in his bones, and his sleeping schedule was kaput, to put it mildly. 

With a litany of curses to reflect his current mood passing over his lips between soft yawns and tired groans, Eren managed to shuck the layer of thick blankets ensnaring him to the bed by his waist as he shivered against the cool air of his poorly heated dorm room. Colorado winters were brutal on somebody who didn’t take well to extreme temperatures on the spectrum of either hot or cold, and the cold was definitely less hospitable to somebody who grew up basking in warm sea breezes.

Stumbling blindly over the small mountains of clothing, both dirty and clean littering the floor, to his desk on the opposite side of the room, Eren removed a day old, and semi-ripe sweatshirt slung haphazardly over the back of his desk chair. He slipped the warm, heavy fabric over his head, wrapping his arms around his torso for a moment as a pitiful attempt to warm himself up, letting a long exasperated yawn come and go. His turquoise eyes, vacant of any sparkle and nearly black at how blown his pupils were under the darkness, watered at the force of the yawn.

One hand wiped at his eyes, the lids lead heavy and threatening to drop and plunge him back into sleep at any given moment. The opposite hand yanked the chair out and Eren plopped into it, nearly yelping as the cold leather touched his bare thighs clad only in a pair of briefs; his typical sleeping attire. It was too early to deal with this bullshit, but Eren managed by some miracle.

Scooting in towards the desk, the young male propped the screen of his laptop to a suitable angle for minimal blinding before powering it on. The screen flashed, and soon illuminated the room in a blinding light far too powerful for somebody still half asleep, earning a hiss from Eren’s lips at how much the light actually hurt to look at.  

As soon as the homescreen assaulted his eyes, Eren opened skype, plugging his headset into the jack habitually before settling it comfortably atop his head which was bound to be endowed with uncontrollable bedhead; not that he even gave his appearance a second thought. He’d done this action time and time again, so he could complete the task in his sleep. At this point, he may as well have been asleep, though the LED screen was blinding enough to wake him up somewhat. This evoked a mix of agitation and thankfulness, although he was dead tired and his mood had flown down south for a roundtrip but ended up missing its return flight again and again.

By the time Eren had found a slouched position that led to the least amount of contact of his bare skin to the icy chair, the skype tone rang in his headphones and rattled in his head. Accepting the video-chat without a second thought, Eren squinted as the screen lit up further due to the brightness of the caller’s kitchen.

“Hey, sorry I’m thirty seconds late on the call. Bentley wanted love and skype took a minute to update and tell me you were online.”

Eren’s sour mood was now turning to lemonade rather than just the rotten lemon, and a small smile pulled at the corners of his mouth, the action somehow accentuating the deep purple rings beneath his eyes as the only light illuminating his face came from the laptop screen. “S’okay. I miss Bentley, give him a few ear scratches for me.”

“You look tired.” A soft voice cooed with a blatant ignorance to his last comment, to which Eren sighed at in response. “Did you sleep at all?”

“Mmh.”

Eren watched the screen with his eyes so heavy, he had to push at the corners of his eyes for a moment to wake himself up. He hated this. Hated it so much there were about three holes in his dorm walls he needed to patch from nights when his broken emotions got the best of him.

“…Did you want to just go back to sleep, Eren?”

The chestnut haired male shook his head slowly, but surely. “Hell no. I’m tired, yeah, but if I don’t stop dragging my ass now then I won’t get to talk to you until god knows when. I can manage not getting eight full hours of sleep, but we barely talk with you at work and me back at school now because our schedules are opposite. Coffee is readily available to me, and if I pass out in class I can get the notes from Marco or Connie or who-the-fuck-ever I need to. No biggie.”

 Armin frowned deeply at how the exhaustion was so prominent in his boyfriend’s low adverb voice, the edges of the sound rough and somewhat flaky from a thick layer of sleep caking his throat. “You need to sleep, Mr. Eren Jaeger. This is an order.” He tried to seem strict, but the idea of not talking to Eren created a sadness in him he could disguise fairly painlessly in his voice, but his eyes being the ‘window to his soul’, as the saying went, gave him away every time.

“Armin, stop, seriously.” Eren sighed as sadness touched the blond’s eyes fleetingly, but not without scrutiny from Eren’s turquoise eyes. “I’m good, I promise. I just kinda rolled out of bed and into the deskchair so I’m not quite awake yet. If you give me a few minutes, I’ll pull my lazy ass up, make coffee, and maybe then I’ll be a little more animated.”

“Do whatever, Eren.” Armin said, not sourly, but in a loving, yet chiding way. He was concerned, and Eren was too tired to even bother denying the fact he was tired as all hell, and Armin would nag him about it. This was a dangerous mix to play with, considering at times like these fights were likely to erupt like the second coming of mount Vesuvius. “Did you want me to move to the living room with softer lighting? You’re squinting.”

Eren shrugged, rubbing at one eye. “Sure.”

Armin’s camera shook a bit as he collected his laptop, his footsteps padding across the plush carpet to the living room that the chestnut haired male had fond memories of pinning his boyfriend to during the times he was actually at Armin’s place. That was a little over a year ago now. Pushing those thoughts aside for a later time, Eren watched as his boyfriend settled himself onto the couch, laptop on his lap, and the lights dimmed as promised. “Better?”

“Mmh.”

A brief moment of silence passed before Eren yawned loudly, sighing afterwards. Damn this exhaustion. It was like hanging bait in Armin’s face to nag him about sleep. Desiring to change the subject, and quickly before the blond could get a word in, Eren cleared his throat before speaking simply. “How was work today?”

Armin shrugged, running a hand through his hair, which had grown enough so the tips touched his shoulders. And it looked damn good on him. While the long hair was fair game to incite some pretty lewd fantasies during the day, in his tired state, Eren simply wanted to bury his face in the crook of Armin’s neck, and run his fingers through the soft blond locks until they both dipped under the belt of sleep and clocked out for the night. “Same as always. Exciting but tiring. Hanji has me bogged down with a lot of extra projects. Not that I’m complaining, but I am, admittedly, a little bit stressed from the extra work. We’re making a lot of impressive progress though, but it’s nothing near where anybody wants to be. Soon though.” Eren nodded at Armin’s softly spoken words, attentive though uncharacteristically quiet. Armin’s blue eyes watched his screen intently, smiling softly. “I thought about you quite a bit today, Eren.”

Eren perked up just the smallest bit at this. His eyes weren’t too tired to convey his amusement, and the ghost of a smile touched his wind burned lips. “Did you?”

“Yeah, I did. I have that picture from last summer in a frame on my desk. Hanji asked me about it, asked about you in particular because I never really mention you around the lab. You’d like her, Eren. She’s a little on the…eccentric side, but she means well. She told me to give my regards to you. So, I’m passing them on.” Armin laughed quietly, the sound making the smile pulling at Eren’s lips grow just a bit. Even if the skype sound quality didn’t do it much justice, that sound made this situation suck just a little less for him, if only for a moment.

“Are you talking about the picture of us when we were passed out in the grass that time we watching Marco’s lacrosse tournament when you stayed with me for that week, and Sasha decided to take my phone and snap pictures of us? And then proceed to post those pictures anywhere she could?” Armin nodded, and Eren laughed softly at the fond memory. “That was a good day, good times. Tell Dr. Hanji that Armin’s boyfriend all the way in Dick Shrinkage, Colorado says hi.”

Armin rolled his eyes as his lips quirked up into a smirk, which only drew another laugh out of Eren. “I’m sorry, I don’t recall _that_ being a town. What’s the weather like there?”

“Cold enough to give me literal blue balls, Arm. I mean, I’m not sure how the hell all my junk down there is still intact after braving the weather here.” Eren smiled lopsidedly, interlacing his hands and folding them behind his head and he leant back in the chair. Armin wore a look of almost disgust at this, his nose, still a petit button of a thing even after puberty and the passage of time fleshed him out to a man, wrinkling a bit.

“You are awful. You are truly a god awful person. I cannot believe that just came out of your mouth.”

Eren shrugged, amused. “I’ve said worse, trust me. Besides, even if I _am_ this awful person you make me out to be, keep in mind you’ve let me hang around for twelve years now. I think it’s safe to say my awfulness should be old hat to you.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Armin admitted an easy defeat, but a small yawn soon passed over his thin lips. Eren cocked a brow in questioning, bringing his arms down and folding them across his chest.

“You’re nagging me for being tired, look at you over there yawning up a storm.”

“Seriously? I yawned once, Eren. Besides, it’s only ten after nine here and it’s midnight there. You’re the one yawning up a storm, thank you very much.”

This was true, and Eren didn’t have it in him to fight back. Instead he gave a nod, nonchalant, and not entirely sure how he was awake right now. Maybe it was Armin’s presence. When they were physically together, he was a sedative that put Eren right under in no time flat. But with two thousand miles wedged right between them, he was a stimulant. Armin never truly understood to the full extent what affect he had on Eren, but it didn’t really matter at this point. They were locked in for life if they’d lasted _this_ long based on the less than favorable circumstances befallen their relationship.

“Eren?” Armin asked after a quiet moment, snapping Eren’s attention back like a taut rubber band being released.

“Yeah-huh?”

“What were you thinking about just now? You have that classic ‘Eren-in thought’ look on your face.”

Eren snorted a laugh. “Christ, Arm, you sound like Mikasa now. If you must know however, don’t take this the wrong way, I was just thinking about this whole ordeal that’s developed as all. It just, it just really fucking sucks how things worked out. I mean, we have such a _good_ thing going, Armin. I’m tired as shit, and I miss you like hell. I’ve never missed anybody this much in my life. I mean, I missed my mom after she died, and I miss my dad, and I miss the hell outta Mikasa too because she’s with my dad. But you,” He paused to sigh before taking a breath as he sat up in his chair, giving Armin his full and undivided attention. “I feel like half of me isn’t even here anymore. I cried like a fucking baby when I got home from dropping you off at the airport over the summer. It just sucks as all.”

Armin’s face turned two shades of pink, and his eyes softened into glistening pools. He was a crier, Eren knew the smallest thing could set his sprinklers off, and there was nothing he could do about the impending tears. When Armin spoke, his voice was brittle, shaky, but laced with intentions to provide them both with some much needed comfort. “Eren, I know, trust me do I ever know. I know how much it absolutely sucks we can’t be together right now. But I’m honestly not all that far away…” He trailed off, trying to maintain hope for the two of them worn out by the whole long distance thing they had going on.

“That’s not the point, Armin. You’re like twenty four plus hours away, and I can’t just drop everything here given the chances I were to decide to pop in on you. If I were going to see you for four or five days, I’d have to take an entire week off just because I’m not currently finically able to afford a flight, and the driving takes forfuckingever, especially if the traffic gets bad. You know as well as I do if I could, I would just tell everybody and everything in this shithole to fuck off so I could be with you. But I can’t. And that’s why it sucks, Armin. I’m so used to you just being around the corner from me, like when we were kids. We both knew this was bound to happen, and we both agreed to work it out because twelve years is too much to just give up on.”

Armin opened his mouth to say something, but closed it right after. Eren, taking note of this, continued anyways. “I’m not saying I want to give up, because that is the last thing I want to do ever, ever, ever. I’m just venting about the fact you’re close, but you’re still so damn far away. The only way we actually get to see one another is with your meticulous planning to arrange all the details of the trips, which takes a lot of effort on your part. And now with you being swamped with work, trying to plan something wouldn’t be the best thing to do, Arm. I can’t have you burning the candles at both ends.”

The blond shot Eren a strong look he had trouble reading. Although, he knew it wasn’t one revering his words. “Look who’s talking!” Armin exclaimed. “You get up every day at midnight to talk to me for an hour or two, and then you don’t go to bed. You stay up and attend your classes, and then stay up late doing work and dicking around and the cycle starts again!” Eren sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as Armin went on a tangent. Why had he opened his big mouth, again? He knew this was bound to happen sooner or later with both parties stretched thin, but he really didn’t want to fight right now. “Look at me when I’m talking to you, Eren! Do you not know that I worry myself to physical illness over you sometimes? It’s scary to me when Marco texts me in the middle of the day saying things like you look really pale, or that you’re dozing off in classes you need to pass. You’re burning the candle at both ends, Eren, and I hate seeing you do that!”

Eren’s quick anger was hard to keep in check under normal circumstances, but as his emotions were strained from the constant lack of sleep, it was exceedingly difficult. While Armin was right, he wasn’t going to just succumb to defeat that easily. “Why are you having people spy for you then, Armin? For Christ’s sake, you’re such a goddamn mother hen! I told you I can fucking manage, and yet you persist that I can’t! You should know by now I’m stubborn as hell—“

Armin abruptly cut his boyfriend off, his pale cheeks tinging red in his rising anger. “Are you being serious right now? Really, Eren?! I don’t have anybody spying on you, I _told_ you I have Marco texting me when you won’t because I know you and I know you will _never_ tell me the truth about how well you’re certainly not faring. You look like hell, Eren, all the time.”

“Gee, thanks for the compliment.”

The bitterness of Eren’s tone stung Armin, but he tried to brush it off like he hadn’t heard it. “That wasn’t meant to be a personal attack, numbskull. I am telling you that because you’re going to make yourself sick doing this! You can’t just not sleep like this all the time!”

“Then what do you want from me, Armin?” Eren griped into the mic, drawing his brows together and clenching the muscles of his jawline. Telltale signs he was pissed off. “Are you saying that we just don’t talk then?? Because you know damn well this is the only way we can!”

Armin ran a hand through his hair, grabbing a handful towards the bottom and squeezing until his knuckles turned a ghastly white under the dim living room lights, before letting go with a sigh. This was a habit Armin had since he was a kid, and his own telltale sign the water was boiling beneath the pot lid. “That is not what I’m saying at all, you dumbass! Don’t put words in my mouth!”

“Then what do you _want,_ Armin! For Christ’s sake give me something!”

“I don’t know yet, Eren. But not this, because this, what we’re doing right now? This is _exactly_ the reason I cannot stand this arrangement we’ve set up. You’re exhausted and grouchy, and I’m drained from my workday. This is a terribly flawed design plan, and something needs to be done about it!”

“What then?!” Eren was struggling to keep his voice at a dull roar, and he really just wanted to lash out at somebody at the thought of not talking to Armin. Where was Jean when he was actually fucking needed for once?

“Don’t yell at me, Eren,” Armin stated in a threateningly calm voice. “Look, just go to bed. I’ll sleep on this and figure something out tomorrow when I’m coherently clear headed and not as tired or annoyed with you. I can’t fight with you tonight over stupid stuff, I just can’t do it. I am exhausted, and you’re dead on your feet. Go to bed, Eren. Goodnight.”

There was no ‘I love you’ said before Armin ended the call, and Eren felt a combination of anger and rejection churning his stomach and weighing on his sore heart. This mixture of negativity was a lot more common for him to feel nowadays, and nothing sucked more than going to bed mad at your significant other who was two thousand miles away. Eren wasn’t _really_ mad at Armin, he was mad at the situation they’d both been thrown headfirst into that split them up like this. Sure, if either party had passed up the opportunity given to them, they’d be the pedestrian dumbass of the century. Still, Eren couldn’t help but wonder what life would be like for either of them if one, or even both, had made that sacrifice.

Sighing, Eren shut his laptop down, and heaved himself from the chair. He stumbled over his laundry on the way back to his bed, mentally cursing himself for not cleaning this pig sty of a room up. If Armin were here, he would’ve had the place clean and organized within the hour. The thought saddened Eren, and he flopped face first into his mattress, burying his face in the sheets and pillows and letting out a long, frustrated sound.

He rolled his head to the side and took in the time was encroaching on one a.m., and Eren figured he may as well try and sleep because now that he’d lost his opportunity to talk to the one person he wanted to most in the world, there was really nothing else he could do. Staying up in this shape would probably lead only to more holes in his walls, which was the exact opposite of kosher.

Wrapping the blankets around himself in a comforting cocoon, Eren snuggled into his cool pillow with a deep sigh that resonated throughout his body, allowing the heavy sleeplessness to take hold of him in an iron grip, and his lanky form sank into the indent in the middle of his bed; created from night after night of sleep in the same spot.

His lids slipped easily over his aching eyes, and Eren didn’t even attempt to fight off the sleeplessness any longer now that he didn’t have a solid reason to stay awake. His next alarm wasn’t set to go off until seven a.m., so maybe he could finish the dream uninterrupted for once. If he didn’t get to hear Armin say he loved him through Skype, maybe that comfort would be sought out in his dreams.  

**Author's Note:**

> And there you have it. I apologise if there are any huge mistakes I've missed in here, or things that make no sense. I wrote this between one and six a.m. after running on like four (possibly less) hours of sleep the night before, so optimal brain functioning is highly questionable. If you like this, please let me know and I'll attempt to continually update within the next month or so. Reviews are a writer's best friend, especially constructive criticism. Thanks for reading!


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